Love doesn’t always resemble a fairy tale. It’s messy in its most realistic form, and don’t be alarmed when you find out that ‘Prince Charming’ doesn’t exist. This doesn’t mean, however, that there aren’t other rational forms of love that do, in fact, prevail.

Feminism and love aren’t always considered to go hand in hand because of incorrect stereotyping, and also because of a little something called Valentine’s Day.

Valentine’s Day can be a very unhealthy reminder of all things sexist in our society and a steady reinforcement of hetero-normative assumptions and expectations. This holiday proves to be extremely problematic and encompasses many well-known flaws in the feminist community.

While it’s important to recognize these flaws, it is also critical to consider the reasons to celebrate Valentine’s Day instead of solely focusing on the material aspects of candy and flowers. People tend to get so caught up in gift-giving and spending money that they forget all about the emotion behind their actions: love.

Instead of obsessing over what kind of Valentine’s Day presents are appropriate to buy for your partner or stressing over making a reservation at the fanciest restaurant around town, consider celebrating a ‘feminist Valentine’s Day’ an alternative to the cheesy, sexist clich’s set out by Hallmark.

Celebrate the love you have for your friends, family, classmates, job and even relish in your current infatuation with the Thursday night television lineup. These are all acceptable forms of affection. There aren’t any official rules stating you can’t use Valentine’s Day to acknowledge all kinds of love, and just because CVS doesn’t make a card for you to write to Michael Scott of ‘The Office,’ that doesn’t mean you can’t use Feb. 14 as a way to express that.

First, don’t go to the opening of ‘Valentine’s Day.’ Ashton Kutcher’s humor, looks and charm might tempt a few sappy couples into dropping a few bucks on this film, but there are much better alternatives. Instead, check out ‘An Education’ or other Oscar-nominated films. It’s also not a bad idea to update your Netflix queue and rent some movies that are equally awesome but off the radar like ‘Whip It’ and ‘Sin Nombre.’

Buy your hunnie his or her favorite candy. I would personally rather receive a box of Milk Duds or a Twix bar than a heart-shaped compilation of fancy chocolates. You know you’ll end up throwing out all the weird-filling ones anyways.

If you do decide to participate in the whole ‘dinner and a movie’ scene, make sure you go halfsies. You can pay for the overpriced spaghetti, and your date can cough up the change for the movie tickets. Remember that the box office in Schine Student Center only charges $7.50 for a movie ticket.

Fall in love. It is often falsely assumed that supporting feminism is grounds for feeling anguish toward the ideas of love, marriage and commitment. While there are definitely political and social aspects of love, it can also be viewed as a powerful tool independent from any particular category. It is one of the most independent, thoughtful and courageous actions a person can experience.

Love ends when you don’t want it to, and it starts up again inconveniently. It is mostly out of our control of how we feel, but it is within our control to summon up the courage to acknowledge our feelings.

Krystie Yandoli is a sophomore women’s studies major. Her column appears weekly. She can be reached at klyandol@syr.edu.