This Sunday is my birthday. My turning 20 years old is cause for much celebration: baking cakes, receiving gifts and Facebook messages from old high school buds, right? Wrong.

I’ve always been a huge fan of birthday celebrations and selfishly sought attention and excitement when Feb. 28 was approaching on my calendar. It’s hard not to love your birthday when you have friends who spoil you with cards, presents and surprise parties.

This year I am entering adulthood. I can’t legally buy myself a beer at Chuck’s Cafe, but I will no longer be a teenager. Growing up can be scary and intimidating, but with age comes time, and with time comes wisdom. The wisdom I have gained this year on my birthday is that instead of celebrating my life, I should be commending my mother.

Individuals tend to get caught up in the minor details of a birthday celebration and easily forget about the woman responsible for making it all possible.

Mother-daughter relationships are often put into two binaries: There’s the Rory and Loralei Gilmore label that encourages your mom being your best friend, and then there’s the more distant idea that a mother is supposed to play a less involved role in her daughter’s life. This is a flawed stereotype because while society promotes these categories in modern popular culture references, mother-daughter relationships can take on multiple forms.

An article from the September 2009 issue of O, the Oprah Magazine claims that the mother-daughter relationship is a complicated one.

Linda Perlman Gordan and Susan Morris Shaffer, co-authors of ‘Too Close for Comfort? Questioning the Intimacy of Today’s New Mother-Daughter Relationship,’ state, ‘Mothers and daughters can have a close bond but should never take it to the level of being best friends … it’s dangerous to enter the realm of friends instead of family.’

These authors are one example of how the media dictates these imperfect binaries. Mother-daughter relationships manifest themselves in many ways, and people commonly fall into a trap of believing the typecast conventions decided by the likes of The CW and O, the Oprah Magazine.

The truth is we’re all independent thinkers with the ability to determine our own boundaries with our mothers. There really isn’t another individual in this whole world who can replicate that relationship. Boundaries are important, but only to the extent that makes you comfortable. There is no right or wrong way, or no two ways for that matter, to establish a mother-daughter relationship.

While Mother’s Day is a holiday marked on the calendar in May, expressing gratitude for your mother on your actual birthday is a more personal and meaningful way to celebrate her existence.

I would specifically like to acknowledge my mom this Feb. 28 because without her I literally would not exist. She is the reason why I am the person I am today. Not only does my face resemble hers, but all of my positive attributes within my personality derive from her efforts and hard work. She dedicated her life to birthing me, raising me and ensuring that I had nothing but the best life.

Thanks, Mama. Don’t buy me a birthday card this year because I plan on celebrating you instead.

Krystie Yandoli is sophomore women’s studies major. Her column appears weekly. She can be reached at klyandol@syr.edu.